Boyfriend Application
Jan 4, 2015 12:25:03 GMT -5
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therumormill, reily, and 4 more like this
Post by Admin on Jan 4, 2015 12:25:03 GMT -5
I took the time to analyze what it was that I expect out of a relationship or significant other. I firmly believe that part of getting what you want from life requires voicing those intentions and desires. You can't just expect that people will know what it is that you want! Personally, I'm not looking to jump into anything serious in the immediate future, but here is what I hope to find in my next relationship:
1. Authenticity: I like a guy who is comfortable being who he is. While adaptability around different people and situations is great, I do like a guy who is consistent. That doesn't necessarily mean that I require predictability, but for myself, I am the same person no matter who I'm around because I live a life that is authentic to me!
2. Honesty: It's very simple to me. I am a very honest person, and greatly appreciate honesty in return. I may not like what you have to say, but I will always respect it if it's honest. It's my opinion that trust is NOT something that has to be earned. I do not assume that everybody will fall victim to their faults. If trust has to be earned, you are always looking for a reason for someone to fail. I give my trust freely until it is broken. As long as you are honest along the way, you sustain my trust. It's easy!
3. Decisiveness: Whether it's what you want out of life, or what's for dinner, please have an idea of what you desire. I can appreciate a "go with the flow" attitude, but nothing is more frustrating than someone who doesn't take an active interest in deciding things for their life. I don't want to spend 30 minutes deciding which movie to see. Even the big issues, like what you expect out of a relationship... don't be afraid to say what it is that you want. If we don't want the same things, we can choose to support each other's differences, or we can spare each other the time and allow for the opportunity to find someone more compatible.
4. Vulnerability & Emotional Availability: Please, for the love of God, be open with your feelings. You can't help how you feel, so if something bothers you, if you feel hurt, frustrated, etc., I will respect and honor that. I may not understand or agree with why you feel the way you do, but your feelings are authentic to you, and are not up for negotiation. As a partner, it's my job to make sure that you feel validated and supported. This requires some level of vulnerability, but trust that you are safe sharing that with me. I'm not asking that you tell me how you feel about every minuscule thing in life, but if there something that I can do to make you feel more comfortable, I want you to feel safe asking for that!
5. Spontaneity: Life is a series of moments. I don't usually pay attention to time, and I don't wait around for opportunities - I create them. Be willing to try new things (food, music, movies, travel, etc), and enjoy the process of experiencing those things more than just the end result (whether or not you actually liked it). Obviously, somethings aren't up for negotiation because they conflict with core values, but at least to be willing to entertain possibilities! Life is constantly evolving, and I don't want someone who is stagnant in that process.
6. Depth: I don't need to drink or be high to have a good time. I'm the kind of guy who loves late-night talks and philosophical conversation. I don't mind going out every once in a while, but I will admit I'm a bit of a homebody. I'm not saying that everything needs to be a discussion, but I refuse to be in a relationship where the only thing you can talk about is football or pop-culture.
7. Kindness & Positive Outlook: This is something that we learned early on in life; treat others the way that you want to be treated. If you don't have compassion for people or animals, we probably are not compatible. Even when things get rough, or when people are disrespectful, try to keep an open mind and happy attitude about things so that you can continue moving forward. You cannot assume responsibility for how others act, but it is completely your responsibility how you respond. I'm the kind of person who believes that everything happens for a reason, and offers gratitude for even the challenges in life because I feel divinely supported.
8. Creativity: Art, entertainment, culinary interests, construction, dance, music, movies, fashion, interior design, etc... Life has so many incredible things to offer. It's not mandatory that you are fully submerged in all of these things, but have some degree of interest in at least one of them. I find that people who are creative tend to think outside of the box, which can be fun when it challenges my way of thinking. I also find that these kind of people take an inventive approach to life. Personally, I love everything artistic that allows me to be creative, and would really enjoy a partner who takes an interest in those things.
CONCLUSION: It all comes down to having mutual respect, and honoring each other's walk through life. I appreciate someone who truly strives to live, as opposed to just existing.
If you fit this description, you should definitely reach out to me! Whether it be romantic or platonic, it's always nice to build mutually beneficial relationships. You can never have an overabundance of support on your journey through life!
If you enjoyed this post, please register for my forum to share your thoughts! Also, please share this link on your social networks so that we can build this online community!
-Steven Binko
1. Authenticity: I like a guy who is comfortable being who he is. While adaptability around different people and situations is great, I do like a guy who is consistent. That doesn't necessarily mean that I require predictability, but for myself, I am the same person no matter who I'm around because I live a life that is authentic to me!
2. Honesty: It's very simple to me. I am a very honest person, and greatly appreciate honesty in return. I may not like what you have to say, but I will always respect it if it's honest. It's my opinion that trust is NOT something that has to be earned. I do not assume that everybody will fall victim to their faults. If trust has to be earned, you are always looking for a reason for someone to fail. I give my trust freely until it is broken. As long as you are honest along the way, you sustain my trust. It's easy!
3. Decisiveness: Whether it's what you want out of life, or what's for dinner, please have an idea of what you desire. I can appreciate a "go with the flow" attitude, but nothing is more frustrating than someone who doesn't take an active interest in deciding things for their life. I don't want to spend 30 minutes deciding which movie to see. Even the big issues, like what you expect out of a relationship... don't be afraid to say what it is that you want. If we don't want the same things, we can choose to support each other's differences, or we can spare each other the time and allow for the opportunity to find someone more compatible.
4. Vulnerability & Emotional Availability: Please, for the love of God, be open with your feelings. You can't help how you feel, so if something bothers you, if you feel hurt, frustrated, etc., I will respect and honor that. I may not understand or agree with why you feel the way you do, but your feelings are authentic to you, and are not up for negotiation. As a partner, it's my job to make sure that you feel validated and supported. This requires some level of vulnerability, but trust that you are safe sharing that with me. I'm not asking that you tell me how you feel about every minuscule thing in life, but if there something that I can do to make you feel more comfortable, I want you to feel safe asking for that!
5. Spontaneity: Life is a series of moments. I don't usually pay attention to time, and I don't wait around for opportunities - I create them. Be willing to try new things (food, music, movies, travel, etc), and enjoy the process of experiencing those things more than just the end result (whether or not you actually liked it). Obviously, somethings aren't up for negotiation because they conflict with core values, but at least to be willing to entertain possibilities! Life is constantly evolving, and I don't want someone who is stagnant in that process.
6. Depth: I don't need to drink or be high to have a good time. I'm the kind of guy who loves late-night talks and philosophical conversation. I don't mind going out every once in a while, but I will admit I'm a bit of a homebody. I'm not saying that everything needs to be a discussion, but I refuse to be in a relationship where the only thing you can talk about is football or pop-culture.
7. Kindness & Positive Outlook: This is something that we learned early on in life; treat others the way that you want to be treated. If you don't have compassion for people or animals, we probably are not compatible. Even when things get rough, or when people are disrespectful, try to keep an open mind and happy attitude about things so that you can continue moving forward. You cannot assume responsibility for how others act, but it is completely your responsibility how you respond. I'm the kind of person who believes that everything happens for a reason, and offers gratitude for even the challenges in life because I feel divinely supported.
8. Creativity: Art, entertainment, culinary interests, construction, dance, music, movies, fashion, interior design, etc... Life has so many incredible things to offer. It's not mandatory that you are fully submerged in all of these things, but have some degree of interest in at least one of them. I find that people who are creative tend to think outside of the box, which can be fun when it challenges my way of thinking. I also find that these kind of people take an inventive approach to life. Personally, I love everything artistic that allows me to be creative, and would really enjoy a partner who takes an interest in those things.
CONCLUSION: It all comes down to having mutual respect, and honoring each other's walk through life. I appreciate someone who truly strives to live, as opposed to just existing.
If you fit this description, you should definitely reach out to me! Whether it be romantic or platonic, it's always nice to build mutually beneficial relationships. You can never have an overabundance of support on your journey through life!
If you enjoyed this post, please register for my forum to share your thoughts! Also, please share this link on your social networks so that we can build this online community!
-Steven Binko
